Editing is among the most important part of serious writing. For new writers, or non-writers interested in the process, this article at Pankhearst is a good primer on the nuts and bolts of editing one’s own fiction.
My original description of the character Matt Adams read:
Matthew Adams was waiting inside the Benz. More bulky and even better tailored than his colleagues, Matt was head of security for Emily’s family’s firm.
I changed this to avoid my previous deliberate repetition of bulky and also to introduce Emily’s father and the fact that something has happened to him.
Matthew Adams was waiting inside the Benz. Bigger than his colleagues and even more exquisitely tailored, he had been her father’s chief of security.